


Skills

by ViaLethe



Category: Firefly
Genre: Community: comment_fic, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-27
Updated: 2011-08-27
Packaged: 2017-10-23 02:44:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/245431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViaLethe/pseuds/ViaLethe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mal and Jayne attempt to give Inara and River a lesson on using guns, but the ladies have other ideas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Skills

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Words are mine, world ain't.
> 
> Written for the livejournal comment_fic community, on the theme 'Horror movie quotes,' off the prompt "Mal and/or Jayne + any combination of Simon, Kaylee, Inara, and River, teaching them how to use a gun: "Try not to shoot yourselves. Don't shoot each other. And especially... don't shoot me." (Planet Terror)"

  
_Skills_   


“Okay, here's how this goes: Try not to shoot yourselves. Don't shoot each other. And especially...don't shoot me,” Mal says, trying to keep an eye on two armed women at once, a hard thing to do when they're standing on either side of him.

“Oh honestly Mal, how stupid do you think we are?” Inara asks, giving him a look that clearly states just how stupid she thinks _he_ is.

“Never hurts to assume someone's a fool when you're teachin' them to shoot. Might hurt plenty not to.”

“But I'm not foolish,” River says from his other side, turning and waving her gun at Jayne, who's agreed to play teacher with Mal for the day. “This isn't even loaded.”

Jayne instinctively ducks away from her anyhow. “Gorram, girl, that don't mean you gotta point it at me! You never point a gun at someone 'less you're planning on shootin' them, don't you know that?”

River tilts her head, considering. “You do it all the time.”

“Yeah, well, I feel the need to shoot people a lot.”

“Captain does too,” she says, turning back to Mal, but she seems to have learned her lesson, keeps the gun lowered.

“Do as we say, not as we do, little one,” he tells her. “You may be a genius, but sometimes you gotta play by the rules, _dong ma_?”

She sighs but nods, and Mal lets his attention swing back to Inara. “No, no, not like that...here,” he says, moving behind her and sliding his arms around her, hands over hers, correcting her stance. “See?” he asks, trying not to be distracted by the scent of her hair. “Steadies your aim that way.”

“I do know how to aim, Mal,” she says, turning her head slightly to look up at him. “I'm quite proficient with a bow; they require precise aim and steady hands as well.”

She might be correcting him, but it hasn't escaped his attention that she's not making any effort to move away. “Swords and now bows – didn't they teach you girls any useful skills in that Companion house of yours?”

The corner of her richly painted mouth rises, and her voice drops into that silky purr she's got. “Trust me, I have skills you've never even _dreamed_ of.”

“Think you might just be underestimating my imagination,” he says, but she's won this time, and he's backing away just a bit too hastily.

“Can I learn Inara's skills instead?” River asks, flitting between them. “They sound so much more interesting.”

“Hey, I got skills too, you know,” Jayne offers, leering.

River turns to Mal. “ _Now_ can I shoot him?”


End file.
